Madison Woods hosts Flash Fiction on Fridays. “A picture is worth a thousand words,” however this flash has one to accomplish the same task within a hundred.
Harold “The Bull” Mushki Makes a Request
Get it. And don’t come back until you do.
Uncle Mushki’s gravelly voice rang in my head, over and over. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy. Moreso when he’s drunk and hasn’t puked in his own lap. But when it comes to money, he’s very particular.
But I owe him my life. That has a tendency to never be repaid. I just hope the cleaners used something other than chainsaws this time. Digging through putrid man-guts is not how I want to spend my day.
“Ah. There’s the truck. Least their directions were good.”
*sigh*
“A dead raccoon.”
Mar 30, 2012 @ 17:32:26
Whoa! What’s going on here???
Mar 30, 2012 @ 17:56:26
I’d like to hope that is an exclamation of curiosity and not one of confusion…
At any rate, here’s a clue: Uncle Mushki is a kingpin/mobster/general badguy.
Mar 30, 2012 @ 18:10:31
Exclamation is of a mind blowing story… you don’t fool around…
Mar 30, 2012 @ 18:12:55
I figured the cleaners were mob guys…
Mar 30, 2012 @ 17:32:29
I liked the tone and the story, but I wasn’t able to follow along. To me it felt unfinished, like a bit of vital information was left out. I’d like to know more about what was going on.
My story: http://authorbrandonscott.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/sins-of-a-father/
Mar 30, 2012 @ 18:03:04
So would I. Hehe. Usually I approach flash as a small segment of a larger story. Where stories usually have beginning, middle, and end, flash to me is perhaps just one of the three. When I saw the picture, what ‘flashed’ into my mind was an old, balding, cigar-smoking, mobster who really wants something returned to him. And that something–might–be in this truck. That served as my anchor. The rest is for imagination to decide.
Mar 30, 2012 @ 18:43:22
Hey I reevaluated some things and I came to the distinct conclusion that you were correct! Something WAS missing. So I added a title to give the piece a bit of context. Although people will gather clues from others’ posts. Great intuition! Thank you.
Mar 30, 2012 @ 19:56:23
Funny how a title can add so much!
Mar 30, 2012 @ 17:49:03
Ew. The grossness of the story really goes well with the picture.
Mar 30, 2012 @ 18:05:39
Yes. Very gross! I’d probably have gone into the sweltering heat and flying vermin and how long the–merchandise–was assumed to be in the truck, but you can only do so much in 100 words!
Mar 30, 2012 @ 18:32:14
I picked up the mob connection with the cleaners comment. And www to the man-guts. Yum. Lol.
Thanks for your comment at mine: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/03/28/state-pride/
Mar 30, 2012 @ 18:33:09
That’s supposed to say eww. Silly autocorrect.
Mar 30, 2012 @ 18:36:31
The things some folk do from obligation… It’s a shame for the character that he needs to suffer through all that. It sounds like he’s being taken advantage of, or else his uncle is never satisfied.
http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/friday-fictioneers-abandoned/
Mar 30, 2012 @ 18:47:36
I’d say a little bit of both. Probably so taken advantage of that he’s jaded. Thanks for commenting!
Mar 30, 2012 @ 21:21:19
I go along with tedstrutz’s orig. comment. If not for the rest of the comments, I would not have known what was going on. What’s with the dead raccoon? Did they expect a human body instead? Sorry, too many questions. Here’s mine…
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
Mar 30, 2012 @ 21:42:08
Exactly. The narrator originally was sent to retrieve a ring from an unfortunate acquaintance of Uncle Mushki. He was expecting to find the guy in the truck, where they said they left him, and take the ring off his finger. Instead, all he finds in the truck is a dead raccoon. So the search for this apparently very valuable ring must continue. That’s how I originally wrote it. Then I changed it to characterize Uncle Mushki instead to show who he was/is. Seemed more interesting.
Mar 30, 2012 @ 21:30:03
Dear R.N.,
Loved the tone and tempo of your take on the prompt but did find it confusing at times, due in no small part to your using ‘flash’ as slice of a bigger pie. All told (no pun intended) I enjoyed you story quite a lot, escpecially your characterization of Mushki. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/pure-coincidence/
Mar 30, 2012 @ 21:49:10
Clever..!
Yes Uncle Mushki. He seemed, after I thought about it for a while, much more interesting than anything else I was to write at the time. Of course, I’m answering most of these questions and comments by actually having to think further than I previously planned. A story in the making? That’s flash fiction for you! Thanks for the comment.
Mar 30, 2012 @ 21:42:40
I am left confused, but interested in reading more. So…tell me more!
Mine is here: erinleary.wordpress.com
Mar 30, 2012 @ 23:38:25
I understood it, though the reference to the ‘cleaners’ threw me a bit and made me wonder. You certainly caught the spirit of the action here – glad I’m not around Uncle Mushki
Mine’s at http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/i-met-this-guy-friday-fictioneers-30-march-2012/
Mar 31, 2012 @ 00:08:15
Glad to hear it. Cleaners are the guys that come in and meticulously dispose of… well, the evidence. Hollywood has shown us that they can be quite extraordinary. Example: the movie Pulp Fiction.
Thanks for your read!
Mar 30, 2012 @ 23:44:21
100 words is a difficult limit for a story–after getting a bit of backstory, I understood it and appreciated the story line. These are great writing exercises and I’m looking forward to more of your work.
Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html
Mar 31, 2012 @ 00:12:39
Thank you. Although I rarely write like this, I don’t know what got into me today.
Mar 31, 2012 @ 03:26:08
Man guts or not, I don’t think one wants to cross “The Bull”! I’m not sure who he is, although I picture him as a mob boss. A good story; a mix of dark humor with the potential for violence.
Mar 31, 2012 @ 07:32:02
I like the touch of black humor in this.
Here’s mine: http://wp.me/p1Tjpv-9G
Mar 31, 2012 @ 15:04:53
Did the cleaners kill a racoon?
Interesting take on the prompt. Going through a dead man’s guts sounds like repayment enough.
Here mine:
http://366degree.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/forget-him-not
Cheers!
Apr 01, 2012 @ 12:19:43
Great story..told mostly from the sidelines (comments) than from the main story…I should enjoy the main story should you finally develop it into one…Well done!
http://seewilliams.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/iron-wall/
Apr 05, 2012 @ 11:23:35
I sure am glad I don’t owe my life to the likes of Uncle Mushki. Yucky things on his list of must-haves